Pointless Arguments
by DragonRaiderX9
Summary: In times of peace, people can sometimes argue over little things. But when those people are Adepts, someone always winds up getting hurt.
1. The Warriors of Prox

Well, apparently, this fic got taken off. Not sure why though.

Flt. Sk.: "Because it sucks."

Ivan: "Actually, I kinda like it. Those tall bozos got nothing on me."

By the way, Ivan has become my newest muse in my other fic. I've made changes to Pointless Arguments, but it's basically the same.

Flt. Sk: "Floating Skull hates you for reposting this."

Oh well. Hey, Ivan, wanna do your first ever disclaimer?

Ivan: "Would I?!!" (clears throat) "DragonRaiderX9 does not own Golden Sun."

Flt. Sk.: "_Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!!!_"

-

It was a cold, bitter day in the northern town of Prox. We join two young warriors, or at least I'm assuming they're young, who are attempting to settle a conflict. Let us join their intelligent conversation. Well, at least as intelligent as you're gonna get in Prox.

"Come on, Agatio," said the one with curved hair.

"No, raiding Mt. Aleph was your job, Saturos," said the straight haired one.

"Aw, me and Menardi raided it last time. All of our men died, and all we had to show for it were some hostages. That kid is starting to bug me."

"You mean Felix?" asked Agatio.

"Yeah," grunted Saturos. "He eats too much, is always getting into trouble. And at night, he shouts in his sleep about his sister."

Agatio looked perplexed. "Why does he sleep in your house?"

Saturos sighed. "Remember when we first brought him here?"

"Yeah,"

"Well, it seems he was bothering the other hostages. Apparently, he had a sound proof room back in Vale. The hostages complained too much, so we all draw straws annually to see where he'll stay."

Agatio brightened, "Oh, I remember now. You've lost three years in a row."

Saturos darkened, "Yeah, I'm starting to think it's being rigged."

Agatio closed his eyes as if he was thinking. What he was really doing, we may never know. Suddenly, his eyes flew open. "I've just realized something!"

Saturos sighed and rolled eyes. "What?"

Agatio grinned with glee. "Earlier, it said I brightened while you darkened."

"So?"

Agatio looked frustrated, "It's a reference to the two elements that were never used in Golden Sun; light and darkness. Do you think it's a sign?"

Saturos sighed again, "No, it's just the author's stupidity. Anyway, back to the point, you're going to raid the Sol Sanctum."

Agatio glared, "No, I can't leave yet. I haven't even told Karst how feel about her yet."

Saturos eyes opened in shock, "What do you mean? How do you feel about her?"

"Well, to be honest," said Agatio. "Kinda queasy..."

Saturos falls down anime style, then stands up. "...Ewwwwwww, kinky. Anyway, why don't you just take her with you? Proxians always travel in pairs."

"I don't wanna, you and Menardi go!" cried Agatio. Then he cheers up. "Hey, I know, how about the four of us go to see the world's largest slice of cheese in Alhafra?"

"That's stupid, let's fire dwarves out of the cannon in Loho," said Saturos.

"Wait, I've got it!" exclaimed Agatio. "Let's kick Shamans in the crotch and see how high their voices get."

Saturos grinned. "Good idea, but let's do it in Contigo."

"Shaman!" screamed Agatio.

"Contigo!" yelled Saturos.

"Shaman!!"

"Contigo!!"

"SHAMAN!!!"

"CONTIGO!!!"

Then, for no apparent, nor obvious reason, Menardi walks by. Saturos gets an idea.

"Hey, Agatio. Let's flip Menardi for it. If she lands on her face, we'll go to Shaman Village. If she lands on her back, we'll go to Contigo."

Agatio grinned from ear to ear. "Heehee, sounds like a plan." The two go running towards Menardi.

-Meanwhile, in Alhafra-

The Mayor was enjoying his morning newspaper in the top floor of his watchtower. He continued peacefully until something caught his eye out the northwest window.

The Mayor frowned. "Are those fireworks?" Suddenly, a large fireball lands in the village.

The Mayor screamed. "AHHHHH!!! MY CHEESE!!!!!!!"

-End Chapter 1-

Well, that chapter's over.

Flt. Sk.: "It was even worse than the first time."

Ivan: "I really enjoyed it. I always knew Saturos was stupid. Especially cuz he tried to fight me, the mighty Ivan!"

Yeah, whatever shorty

Ivan: "SHORTY?!! No one calls me shorty! SPARK PLASMA!!!!!!!!!"

DRX9 and Flt. Sk.: "AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" (faint)

Ivan: "Oh dear, I think I killed them. Oh well, I guess I'll have to post the next chapter"


	2. The Diary and the Beaver

Ivan: "Uh... my partners are still unconscious so I'm reposting chapter 2. Enjoy!"

-

It was a beautiful day in Vale. Nothing bad had happened except for the fire sighting of large fire balls to the northwest.

However, two young boys, who would later possess a mission of great importance, were frantically talking in the plaza.

"C'mon Garet," said the shorter one. "You did break your sister's diary."

"Yeah, yeah." said the red haired one. "You're right Issac."

"That's Isaac. I-s-a-a-c. You were putting two s's instead of two a's." said Isaac irritably.

"Opps, sorry."

"Anyway, how do you break a person's diary?" asked Isaac. "It's not like you can just knock it over and have it shatter."

Garet sighed. "That's a long story. It all started last week. Remember when Kay dyed my hair green."

Isaac started laughing. "Yeah, that was hilarious."

"Not to me it wasn't!" yelled Garet. "Anyway, once I got the dye out I decided to steal her diary and use her information against her. Plus, she's out of town till tomorrow."

"Why?" asked Isaac.

"Something about burning monkeys in the Lamakan Desert."

"Oooooooooooooooookay, that's kind of odd."

Garet continued. "Well, I finally found her diary hidden in her underwear drawer."

"Aw, you should've brought me along," sobbed Isaac.

"Dude! That's my sister you're talking about!" yelled Garet.

Isaac had a grin on his face. "I know."

".........Ewwwwwwww, kinky. Anyway, I was just getting to the juicy parts when..."

"Oh, does she like me?" asked Isaac. "She's really hot."

"No, she had a thing for Jenna's dead brother, Felix."

Isaac looked depressed. "Man..."

"Okay," continued Garet, again. "I just getting to the juicy parts when a beaver jumped in the window and stole her diary. I chased it through the plaza, but it ripped the diary to shreds. Plus it stole my pants."

Isaac cocked an eyebrow. "I was wondering why you weren't wearing any. Don't you think you might want to put some on?"

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" said Garet as if he didn't care. "Got any ideas on how to fix this?"

"I say we go check out Kay's underwear drawer again," said Isaac with a smirk on his face.

"Shut up Isaac, you perv!!!" screamed Garet. "I know, lets through my brother Aaron at the beaver."

Isaac was perplexed. "What good would that do?'

"None, I've just always wanted to hurl Aaron at a beaver."

Isaac sighed. "Okay, now we have two ideas. How do we decide which one two do?"

Isaac and Garet went into deep thought. Or at least Isaac did. Heaven knows what Garet was doing. Suddenly, Garet said, "Look, there's Jenna. Let's flip her for it."

Isaac grinned. "Dude, that's the first smart thing you've said all day."

-Meanwhile, in Alhafra-

The Mayor was standing on his boat, wondering how he will ever get it fixed. He looks north to see an odd sight.

"What is it with people and fireworks today!!!"

Suddenly, something falls from the sky and hits him in the face.

"What the... Ooo, just what I've always wanted. A beaver and a pair of trousers."

-

Man, it's good to be back.

Ivan: "Yeah, sorry I torched you two."

Flt. Sk.: "Floating Skull will have his revenge!!!"

Aw, shuddap! And quit talking in third person!!

Flt. Sk.: "_Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!!!"_


	3. The Statue

As via request, the 3rd chapter of Pointless Arguments is coming up.

Flt. Sk.: Why is Floating Skull still here?

Ivan: Cause you're a loser and no one wants you; Neener neener neener, neener neener neener!!

Flt. Sk.: How dare you!! _Floating BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!_

Ivan: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right...anyway, here's the chapter. I don't own Golden Sun, and by the way...IT'S PIERS, NOT PICARD (breathes heavily)

-

A lot had taken place since the infamous Breaking of the Diary™. To summarize...Kay found out that Garet stole her diary. She burned him to a crisp. Jenna laughed...very, very hard. Garet was then grounded for stealing from his sister, trying to destroy the wildlife (i.e.: the beaver), and for excess nudity. Isaac was grounded for helping Garet with his evil plans. Jenna had to have a lot of therapy to cope with her losses, plus the fact that she saw Garet with no pants on. Why Isaac was unaffected, we can only guess.

Then, Saturos and Menardi stole the Elemental Stars, also kidnapping Jenna and Kraden. Isaac and Garet (fully clothed, I might add) set off on a trip to rescue them.

REST OF SCENE MISSING

...And then, Felix lit the Mars Beacon. Our heroes (Isaac, Garet, **Ivan**, Mia, Felix, Jenna, Sheba, & Piers, for anyone who doesn't already know) returned to Vale to find that it had been destroyed (Kraden came too, but no one cared).

After several months, Vale had been almost completely rebuilt. But all was not at peace. Two young Jupiter Adepts were frantically arguing about something. But then again, if they weren't arguing, then there'd be no point in writing this.

"No, it should go over here," said the boy. "Sheba, you don't know what you're talking about."

"**Ivan**, you silly fool," said the girl. "It's obvious that it be over there."

**Ivan** shook his head. "Sheba, I'm telling you, the statue dedicated to our Jupiter Djinn should be in the center of the plaza, so everyone can enjoy it."

"NO!" yelled Sheba. "It should be over on that hill."

"What are you talking about?!!" exclaimed **Ivan**. "No one would see it there."

"Hold on," said Sheba. "Before we continue, tell me. "Why is your name in bold?"

**Ivan** sneered. "Cause I'm a muse, baby."

"Well, why do you have a bunch of burn marks?" inquired Sheba.

**Ivan** sneer quickly turned to embarrassment. "That meanie, **Floating Skull**, beat me up."

Sheba looked sympathetic. "Awww...poor baby."

**Ivan** became distraught. "Don't call me that, people will think I'm a wuss, or worse, that we're dating."

"First of all, you are a wuss. And secondly, are you saying that's it's a bad thing to be seen dating me?" glared Sheba.

"N...No, not at all," whimpered **Ivan**. "I j-j-just think that...uh...it would be an embarrassment to you to be seen d-dating me. Yeah, that's it, I don't want your social status to go down because of me."

Sheba looked as if she didn't believe him, but decided to let it pass. "Anyway, in answer to your question, I think we should place the statue on the hill because it's a very windy place."

"So," scoffed **Ivan**.

"So, Jupiter Djinn, which are based on the wind, should be honored in a windy place," said Sheba. "It's only proper."

"Yeah," said **Ivan**. "Well, I think the Jupiter Djinni would prefer to be honored in a place where people would see them."

"You could always build two statues," suggested Gust, who seemed to have appeared from out of nowhere.

"NO ONE ASKED YOU!!!!!!!!!!" yelled **Ivan** and Sheba at the same time. Gust went flying off to parts unknown, wailing about being unloved.

**Ivan** sighed. "I bet he went to spy on Mia again."

"Yeah," agreed Sheba. "Djinn are such perverts."

"Back to the subject," said **Ivan**. "Do you think that we could really could build two statues?"

"Nah," said Sheba, shaking her head. "We could barely get the sculpture to make one. He seemed to think it was a waste of time."

"With Gust around I kinda agree," muttered **Ivan** under his breath. Out loud, he said, "So how are we gonna decide."

Sheba thought about it for awhile, then said, "Hey, look. There's Piers, let's flip him for it."

**Ivan** looked doubtful. "I don't know, remember what happened to Saturos, Agatio, Isaac, and Garet?"

"That's because they messed with a Mars Adept," said Sheba, grinning. "But Piers is a Mercury Adept, which is so much weaker than Jupiter. What's he gonna do?"

"I guess you're right," said **Ivan** thoughtfully. The duo ran off to flip Piers.

-Meanwhile, in Alhafra-

The Mayor was very upset. "I've had my cheese destroyed, the beaver was dead and too crispy to eat, Briggs got away, and he took my ship with him. And ever since, I've been losing support in town. Those losers might just start a revolt." By this time, the Mayor was breathing heavily, and his face was red from all the blood rushing to it.

"I think I'll take a walk to calm my nerves. But before I go..." he glared at his assistant, "...is there anything you want to tell me?"

"No, sir," said the Mayor's Aide. "I have nothing to report."

The Mayor grumbled something under his breath and went outside. But he had hardly gone a few steps when he noticed something out at sea. It was a gigantic tsunami, heading right for the town. The tsunami hit Alhafra with incredible force. But for some odd reason, which can only be explained through a plot hole, nothing was destroyed. It was just really wet, and flooded everywhere. The Mayor had been knocked down, possibly incapacitated.

Then, the Mayor's Aide rushed outside. "Mr. Mayor, there is one thing I forgot to mention."

"What is it?!!!!"

"It's wet outside."

-

Well, that's it for this chapter.

Flt. Sk.: Pointless pain, this Floating Skull likes.

(sarcastically) I'm so glad I have your approval.

Flt. Sk.: Where is Ivan?

He's still having water pumped out of his lungs.

Flt. Sk.: (cackles evilly)

Yeah...anyway, please review, and maybe I'll post another chapter.

_Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!!!_


	4. Craters

Okay, it's been awhile since I last updated. I had a lot of schoolwork. But I'm caught up (for now) and updating while I can.

Ivan: For shame, you should get ahead in your work. Your grades might start slipping.

My grades are fine and...wait, when did you get here?

Ivan: Just now, they finished pumping my lungs. Now I shall taunt you a second time!

Floating Skull, if you would please?

Flt. Sk.: Not now, Floating Skull must create new attacks or else the Floating Beam shall become redundant.

True. Anyway, I won't be doing the muses in bold anymore, too much unnecessary work.

Ivan: Lazy.

That's it! DRAGON CLAW!!!!!!!!

Ivan: Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Well, that's that. Anyway, I don't own Golden Sun.

_Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!!!_

-

We once again join our heroes in Vale, where our favorite longhaired guys are arguing like crazy.

"I'm telling you, Piers, the crater next Contigo was caused by Jenna that time you bumped into her and didn't apologize," said the brown haired one with a ponytail.

"No, Felix you idiot!" said the blue haired Lemurian. "The crater was caused by one of the flaming monkeys that shot out of the Lamakan Desert a couple years ago."

"Didn't Garet's sister do that?" asked Felix.

"Yeah, anyway, it was too dark to tell when Jenna got mad, so the crater could've gotten caused by either one," replied Piers.

"Look," said Felix sternly. "Jenna got mad and incinerated you, but several giant fireballs went flying towards Contigo. When we got there the next day, a giant smoldering crater was there."

"So what?" said Piers. "That crater is always smoldering, it doesn't mean that it was recent. Why didn't we ask the villagers what was up?"

Felix gave a heavy sigh. "We did, everyone just stood in shock. No one said everything. But on plus side, everything was free!"

Piers shook his head, "Now I know they weren't spooked by fireballs. Something else scared them, but what?"

Felix and Piers went into a state of deep thought. And surprisingly, with this pair we can actually say that both of them were thinking. Wat up with dat?

"I've got it!" shouted Felix. Piers listened intently. "Think about it, Isaac's team got there before we did, they told us so." Piers nodded. "So, knowing them, Garet forgot to wear pants again. It also explains why everyone chased us out of Contigo with torches and pitchforks after our two teams united."

Piers nodded, then narrowed his brow. "Wait, why didn't Isaac or the others say anything?"

Felix thought about this one. "I guess by then, they were used to it."

"Oh, ok," said Piers. "But we still don't know what caused the crater."

"I can answer that," said an elderly voice. Out popped Kraden.

"Noooooooooooooooooooo! Not Kraden!" screamed Felix and Piers in unison. They wanted to run, but the words of Felix's mother rang in their heads. '_If I hear that you boys run off during one more of Kraden's lectures, you'll be in more trouble than I care to imagine_.' And considering that Felix's mom had spent several years dealing with Proxians, one did not want to get on the bad side of her! Piers, though not related, was living with Felix since he had been banished. He feared the wrath of Felix's mom as much as anyone.

"The crater near Contigo was supposedly caused by the floating city of Anemos," said Kraden. "Now, Anemos has a long and interesting history that fills several books, and I shall be happy to share it all with you." Kraden continued, but didn't notice the whispering to one another.

"Man, we have to get him to stop," said Felix.

"I know, he's gonna kill me with boredom," agreed Piers. Without warning, Ivan passed by, apparently bored staying with me, the author. Piers gets an idea. "Hey, let's throw Ivan at him."

Felix looked uncertain. "What good would that do?"

Piers grinned. "Kraden would be knocked out, and we could leave because Kraden wouldn't be lecturing."

Felix broke into a rare smile. "Brilliant, let's do it!"

-Meanwhile, in Alhafra-

The Mayor, having recovered from the tidal wave, was once again enjoying his newspaper in the top of his tower. He spotted an interesting headline.

"**Be On The Lookout For Hurricane Ivan!"**

"Pish-posh," said the Mayor. "I'm not afraid of a gust of wind." He looks out the window. "Strange, I don't remember Kibombo being down there."

-

Flt. Sk.: Floating Skull does not get it, how is a hurricane that's named after puny midget muse funny?

Simple. You see, back in September, 2004, the southeast United States got hit with a class 5 hurricane that was ironically named 'Ivan'.

Flt. Sk.: Oh.

Now I would like to have a moment of silence for the people who were hurt during this hurricane season.

(Moment of silence, please stop reading and think about the people whose lives were destroyed. In case you live far out of country, this really happened, I'm not making it up.)

Thank you, I will end now with no signs of disrespect, save for Floating Skull's trademark saying.

Flt. Sk.: _Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!!!_"


	5. Squishy?

Ok, the original chapter 5 sucked, I admit it.

Beast Boy: Dude! That was the chapter that I first appeared in!

I know, but don't worry; you'll still be a muse.

Ivan: Dang, I was hoping we could off 'em.

Flt. Sk.: Yes, for once Floating Skull agrees with puny midget muse.

Ivan: Can we at least get rid of Floating Skull?

Nah, people love him for some reason.

Flt. Sk.: …Does the Dragon speak the truth?

Yes, you're the only one who's ever been commented on in a review.

Flt. Sk.: …Floating Skull must contemplate this.

B.B: Dude! I can't believe that no one loves me!

That's not true, Terra loved you.

B.B.: Don't even go there!

Ivan: Ooo…looks like we found a sensitive spot, eh?

Nevermind, it's time to start the story. Oh, this was not designed as Mia-bashing. I just thought it was funny

_Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!_

After leaving Kraden wounded for some time, the GS crew decided to visit Mia's hometown of Imil, mostly to escape the wrath of Felix's mother. But two ladies have found something that's causing a little stir between them.

"Can we keep it, Jenna? Can we, can we!" asked the girl with the blue hair.

"No, Mia," said the girl with crimson hair. "If anything, we should burn it! Burn it, I say!"

Mia was shocked. "You can't burn a puppy! Especially not my puppy! I wuv him so much!"

Jenna sighed. "Mia, for the last time, it's not a puppy, it's a hot dog. And you love everything. Remember Mercury Lighthouse?"

_Flashback_

"So," said Saturos. "You survived the eruption?"

"Oooooooooooo!" squealed Mia. "Look at the man with the mohawk. He's so precious." She began to advance on him.

"What are you doing? No, STOP!" But it was too late, Mia had him in a tight embrace.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Get this vixen off of me!" With great effort, Saturos broke free from Mia's grip, but fell to his knees in exhaustion.

"Wow!" exclaimed Isaac. "Mia beat Saturos all by himself!"

"Herself…," muttered Ivan.

"Right, _her_self."

"I didn't lose to you, I lost to the power of the Lighthouse!" shouted Saturos.

_End Flashback_

"Ok, maybe I'm a little obsessive…" admitted Mia.

" A little?" said Jenna with an accusing look on her face. "Might I remind you about Anemos Inner Sanctum?"

_Flashback _(Again)

"So this is what's hidden in the sanctum," said Sheba.

"Wow, a summoning tablet!" shouted Garet.

"Must you shout at everything?" asked Piers.

"No!" shouted Garet. "Why do you ask!" Piers sighed.

"Look over there!" exclaimed Felix. A headless suit of purple armor walked forward. It spoke.

_I am the darkness,  
keeper of the light.  
If you want the sun's power  
You must show me your own!_

"Hi, the Darkness!" shouted Garet.

"You mortals may call me Dullahan. And if you want this summon, you must defeat me!"

"Hi, Dullahan!" shouted Garet.

Dullahan looked uncomfortable, or least as much as he could without a head. "Why does the mortal shout?

"It started when he saw himself in the full-body mirror after he forgot to put on pants," explained Isaac.

Dullahan was about to respond when Mia entered the room. "Hey, it wasn't nice of you guys to push me down into the hole. It's almost like you guys are trying to get rid of me." She failed to notice that no one was meeting her eyes. Then she saw Dullahan. She gasped. "Look at the pretty headless man!" She then, predictably, embraced him. Er, it? Who cares?

"What is the meaning of this!" shouted Dullahan.

"I don't know!" shouted Garet. Jenna elbowed him in the ribs to shut him up. It worked.

"Get this puny mortal female off of me!" screamed Dullahan.

"Sheesh, this guy talks like Floating Skull…," muttered Ivan.

"Tell you what, you can have Iris, JUST GET HER OFF OF ME!"

"Now that's shouting," shouted Garet.

"No sweat," said Sheba confidently. She cast Sleep on Mia, who slumped to the floor.

"SHE SURE IS NICER WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING," shouted Garet, apparently trying to mimic Dullahan.

"Now, take the tablet and go. Never bring her back to this place, and tell no one of my defeat."

_Later_

"Wow," said Piers. "It sure was nice of Dullahan to give us Iris."

"ESPECIALLY AFTER MIA DEFEATED HIM USING A HUG!" shouted Garet.

Every boss, alive and dead, in Weyard heard Garet shouting. Dullahan did not have a good time at the next Annual Boss Convention, but I digress.

_End Flashback_

"Yeah, I have issues, but I'm going to keep the puppy. I shall name him Squishy, and he shall be mine. He shall be my Squishy!"

Jenna sighed, "Ok, how about this. There's Felix, let's flip him for it."

Mia frowned. "Is that wise? His Psynergy is most powerful."

Jenna laughed. "Please, Felix would do anything I said. I have him totally wrapped around my finger."

"Weeeeeeeeeeeell, ok!" agreed Mia.

Meanwhile, in Alhafra-

"I can't believe that hurricane blew us all the way to Central Gondowan!" exclaimed the Mayor, staring down the cliff.

"I can't believe you're fat enough to pass for a Mad Demon…," muttered his assistant under his breath.

"What was that?" accused the Mayor, turning to his assistant.

Before he could reply, a huge earth tremor rocked the land. The mayor lost his balance and fell off the cliff into Kibombo below. He landed with a big thud, leaving a small crater. The natives were startled by the noise.

"Look, a Mad Demon!" said one of them.

"Dinner!" shouted another.

The assistant looked on. "Oh, I told him to go on a diet, but would he listen to me? Nooooooooooooooooo…"

All those present later swore that they heard voices echoing in the wind.

"Totally wrapped, huh?"

"Shut it!"

End

Well, that's that. Sorry about the Finding Nemo reference. Please don't tell, if I get sued, there won't be anymore chapters

Ivan: So by all means, tell everyone.

B.B.: Hey, what do ya get when you cross a motorcycle with a broom?

(Sarcasm) I don't know Beast Boy, what?

B.B.: A Vroom Stick!

crickets

Flt Sk.: The mortals love me, how is this possible?

Quit sulking. Okay, just to cheer up Floating Skull, would anyone mind asking questions of the other muses? Anyway, Chapter 6 will be up soon, see ya then!

_Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!_


	6. A Proxian's Lament

Well, I'm finally ready to review again.

Ivan: 'Bout time

I thought you hated this story.

Ivan: I do, but it's the only story I appear in, so…

Floating Skull: So puny midget muse attempts to gain popularity despite the fact that it is impossible for someone as pathetic as you.

Beast Boy: Well, someone's in a good mood today.

Yeah, someone reviewed and said they hated Floating Skull. I still don't get it, why do you care?

Flt. Sk.: Floating Skull thrives on destruction and fear. Bringing joy and love to the masses in unacceptable!

Oh yes, you bring _so _much fear, especially after getting you butt royally kicked by a kid back in Spider-Jeff.

Flt. Sk.: (g_lares maliciously_)

You see, my loyal fans…

Ivan: _snicker…snort_

Spider-Jeff is one of 3 stories that I've updated on since Mia's hug fest. Unfortunately, I didn't receive a single review on any of them.

B.B.: HA-HA…You suck!

_(Eyebrow twitches._) Anyway, if you guys got a minute, could you read and review on them? Or just review on this story, that would really make my day.

Enough of that crap, you guys enjoy the chapter while I beat up my muses.

_Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!

* * *

_

In the northern reaches of Prox, things have somewhat returned to normal after the lighting of Mars Lighthouse. But of course, nothing stays normal for long.

"So," said an elegant blonde haired lady. "You and Agatio were revived by the power of the Mars Beacon, eh Karst?"

"That's right, Menardi," replied a fiery redhead. "But how did you Saturos survive?"

"Well, it started after we fell into the light house."

_Flashback_

"WHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! We're falling!" shouted Saturos with joy.

"Aw, shoot!" cursed Menardi. "I left the oven on at home!"

_End Flashback _

"Whoa," gasped Menardi. "Now I remember why I don't do flashbacks. I never remember anything important."

"Right…" said Karst sarcastically.

"Anyway, because Earth is symbiotic with Fire, our bodies with preserved on the brink of death. When Mars Lighthouse was lit, the power of the beacon revived us to full. Then we blasted a hole through the side of the lighthouse and walked out."

"Hmmm…" pondered Karst. "If you've been alive this whole time, then maybe I shouldn't have tried to kill Isaac."

"You couldn't kill him either, huh?" asked Menardi. Karst dropped her head while Menardi laughed. "Well, he did light the Mars Beacon, so maybe we should go apologize."

"You know," said Karst thoughtfully. "I think you're right. I'll go tell Agatio to pack."

"Hang on a sec!" said Menardi sternly. "Who says we're bringing him?"

Karst glared. "You're nuts if you think I'm traveling with your boyfriend, Saturos!"

Menardi returned her sister's icy gaze. "He's not my boyfriend! He's my partner, and besides, I can trick him into carrying our stuff."

"Who cares, Agatio could kick Saturos's butt!"

"I otta kick your butt!"

The sisters were interrupted by the guys in question walking by.

"I'm telling you, a big stick and lion gave birth to the first peanut!" shouted Agatio.

"No, you fool! They gave birth to a pineapple!" replied Saturos. Their bickering faded as they moved further away.

"…Why did we want to bring them again?" asked Karst.

"Who cares!" answered Menardi. "Let's just go…"

_Two months later, in Alhafra_

The mayor gasped for breath as he collapsed the ground just inside town. His aide helped him to his feet.

"Why…did…you…move…the…town…back…to Osenia…without…me?" gasped the mayor between breaths.

"Funny story about that," replied the aide. "Ya know that big quake that knocked you off the cliff?"

"Yes…"

"Well, did you feel the gigantic one after it?"

"Yes," said the Mayor, having retained his composure. "The Kibombons were confused, so I hid behind a rock. Which was good because I had to use the bathroom. The caught me though, and they were pissed for some reason. I mean, how was I supposed to know that the huge rock was a sacred statue?"

"So that explains the arrowhead in your butt," said the aide.

"Yes, but continue your story."

"Ok, so the first quake was a foreshock. The next one was the real deal. It was so powerful that it caused the ground below us to propel Alhafra back to its original location. With absolutely no injuries!"

"Gee, how lucky for you," muttered the Mayor. At that point, Menardi and Karst walked into town.

"At last," exclaimed Karst. "We've made it to Vale!"

"No, Karst," sighed Menardi. "I've been to Vale. Trust me, this isn't Vale."

"Oh…" moaned Karst. "I knew we should have turned left at Albuquerque."

"What's an Albuquerque?" asked Menardi.

"I don't know, but we should have turned left at it."

The Mayor walked behind the two of them. "Well, I don't know of this 'Vale' that you two speak of, but how would you two lovely young ladies like to spend some quality time here with me?" he asked, putting his arms around their necks. He failed to notice the death glares he was receiving.

_Meanwhile, in Vale_

"Man," said Jenna. "I didn't know that Mom would be so rough on Felix and Piers."

"Yeah, I hope they're all right," replied Sheba.

Suddenly, a huge burst of light burst from the southeast. It took a few minutes for the glare to die down.

"Say," said Jenna when she could see again. "Aren't those fireworks shaped like the mayor of Alhafra?"

"That guy was a real jerk," said Sheba. Then, she heard something hit the ground at her feet. She bent down and picked it up. "Cool, I've always wanted an arrowhead."

* * *

Ivan: Why is the mayor so stupid?

B.B.: Well, I guess just got caught up in the _heat_ of the moment.

_More crickets_

Dude, ya gotta stop trying to make jokes.

B.B.: Well I'm sorry! I need a laugh after the beating you gave us.

Ivan: Yeah, just look at Floating Skull.

Flt. Sk.: skull…

You guys deserved it. Anyway, now that you've read the chapter, please REVIEW. I'm putting the word REVIEW in capital letters to catch your attention. That said, I will leave you now.

…

Uh, somebody?

B.B.: Oh right. (_clears throat_) Floating Skull! Whoo!

Ivan: Pathetic.


	7. Ghetto Felix?

Ah, it's at last time for another chapter.

Ivan: Gee, I can hardly wait to see how you'll torture me this time.

Floating Skull: Nor can Floating Skull.

Beast Boy: I'm just glad to be back. All summer you've been working on that one story that you won't let Ivan and me help with.

Ivan: Which you haven't finished by the way.

Relax. It's all covered. When I get back to work on that story, you guys can help.

Ivan: Goodie…

But for now, more Arguments!

_Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!_

-

_"You two boys have really done it this time! You've hurt the wisest man in the village. Now you're going to help him around his house until I say so!"_

And thus, Felix and Piers found themselves walking to Kraden's house one sunny morning.

"Do you think he's mad?" asked Piers.

"Actually, when he came to, he seemed to have thought he was attacked by a rabid mongoose," replied Felix.

Piers pondered this on the way to Kraden's house. When they arrived, Kraden answered the door cheerfully. The two boys hastily apologized. "Nonsense, it wasn't you boys' fault," said Kraden. "You couldn't possibly have known that the mongoose was rabid." Felix and Piers exchanged looks of understanding. "In any case, let's get to work. You can start by sorting my potions over there." He pointed to a large stack of shelves, each lined with a number of multi-colored potions. Each potion had its own unique aroma. "Now whatever you do, don't drop the potions. The horrors you could unleash are unimaginable by man."

Our heroes set to work, bravely sorting the potions. This is only half-sarcasm; you don't want to know what's in that stuff.

"Let's see, Buns of steel, Dragon Feces, Nyquil for Cats…" Felix continued through the line of potions. "Anti-Flaming Bat Repellant?" He stopped at this one and pondered its meaning. "That doesn't make any sense. It seems like it repels things that repel flaming bats…that's just stupid!"

"On the contrary," replied Kraden. "You've never seen anything repel a flaming bat in Vale, have you?"

Resisting the urge to ask why they wouldn't want to repel flaming bats, and to point out that flaming bats don't live near Vale anyway, Felix continued his work.

"Hey, Felix!" called Piers. "Where do I put this one?"

"What's it called?"

"It reads, _Getogus Metamorphous_."

"Toss it here." As Piers threw the fateful vial up in the air, Felix realized he couldn't catch to save his life. The last thing he saw as the vial crashed by his feet was the horror-stricken look on Kraden's face.

A bright light engulfed the house, shielded from the rest of the town by the trees and the cliffs. No one had any clue what was about to transpire.

_-Meanwhile, in Xian- (Hey, a new town!)_

"So you're saying this isn't Vale?" asked Menardi.

"No," replied Feizhi. "But I wish I knew where it was. That hotty, Isaac, lives there."

"_Hotty?"_ thought the sisters. Aloud, Karst said, "You know that he has a thing going on with that blue-haired girl Mia, right?"

"WHAT!" screamed Feizhi. "I will rip that harpy of a witch limb from limb! She will rue the day she stole my man from me!" By now, Karst and Menardi were slowly sneaking away. Feizhi noticed and ran up to them. "Please, you must take me with you so I can exact my vengeance!"

"What do you think," whispered Karst.

"I think a grudge match would make good entertainment. Besides, we're only there to apologize to Isaac anyway. I couldn't care less about the others." Aloud, "Ok, but in return, we get to burn something."

Feizhi shrugged. "Burn Hsu, he's done nothing but smoke and drink since Isaac rescued him from the boulder."

"But that means his clothing is stained with alcohol…" said Karst and Menardi at the same time. Without another word, they ran inside Feizhi's house.

_-Meanwhile, in Vale Plaza-_

"My ears are burning!" exclaimed Mia.

"I guess that means someone's talking about you," said Sheba.

"I'm hungry!" whined Ivan. "Let's order pizza!"

AIGIEEGEINGIIIOENGGGEEEEEEEEEEIEGIENENIGLEIOIEEEEEE!

A scream of unparalleled proportions ripped through the midday sky.

"What was that?" asked Garet.

"It seemed to have come from around Xian," said Isaac. "But what could force a man to scream so loud?"

"Whatever it was," said Garet. "It sounded hot." Everyone turned to give him a weird look. "What…I meant temperature, like fire. I mean, it was a guy's voice, do you really think I would mean it any other way?"

"Um…Garet, is there something you've been meaning to tell us?" asked Isaac, edging away from Garet alongside Ivan.

Before Garet could retort, Jenna ran up looking excited. "Hey guys! I found a new weapon!"

"What is it?" asked Ivan.

"It's called the Soul Blade," answered Jenna. "Its unleashing is a reflection of your inner self. Or at least that's what the instruction manual said. Watch this!"

Jenna's Soul Blade lets out a howl! Giant Flaming Death! 789 points of damage to random shrub. You felled random shrub.

"Sweet!" yelled Ivan. "My turn!" he said, grabbing the sword away.

Ivan's Soul Blade lets out a howl! Midget Masher! 37 points of damage to Garet's brain. You felled Garet's brain. (No difference is noted)

"Once a shrimp, always a shrimp," sneered Mia.

"Oh, and I suppose you can do better?" retorted Ivan.

"I don't use swords, thank you very much!" replied Mia.

"Hey look, it's Felix," said Sheba.

It was Felix, but something was wrong. He was walking strangely, and was dressed in unusual clothing. He walked up to the gang and started talking. "Yo, wazzup my hizzle?"

"Huh?" said the rest of the GS crew in unison.

"I say what sizzlin' in the kizzlin'?" replied Felix.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Garet.

"For once a good question," said Isaac. "Ivan, you work with the author. Any insight?"

Ivan furrowed his brow. "I've met a person like this before. He's an associate of DRX9. I believe his name was GhettoRaiderX8."

"Ghetto?" asked Jenna.

"I'm not sure what it means either." Ivan sighed. "But he talked just like Felix is doing now."

"Fo' shizzle, yo!" said Felix.

"Stop it!" cried Mia. "You're scaring Squishy." The hotdog in question sat motionless."

"SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!" yelled Garet.

"No!" came the faint reply of the Mayor of Madra.

"I'll tell you what's going on!" came a voice. The gang turned to see Felix and Piers standing there with Kraden. "That's not Felix, I am!"

"Ok, now Squishy's confused," said Mia.

"You see, Piers dropped a bottle of_ Getogus Metamorphous_ by Felix's feet," began Kraden, shooting a dirty look at the two. "Using Felix's likeness, it created a completely ghetto being."

"Holla!" said Ghetto Felix.

"Enough!" shouted Mia. "Sword or not, I'll end this once and for all!" Taking the Soul Blade, she charged forward.

Mia's Soul Blade lets out a howl! Giant Squishy! 10 points of damage to Ghetto Felix.

"Ha, a giant hotdog?" laughed Ivan. "That's worse than my unleashing!"

Mia turned to respond, but as she did, Ghetto Felix stole the Soul Blade.

Ghetto Felix's Soul Blade lets out a howl! Shizzle my nizzle!

"Nooooooooooo!" yelled Mia. "My nizzle's been shizzled!"

"I don't wanta sosizzle no one's kizzle," said Ghetto Felix. "Just say where I can sizzle without no shizzle!"

"Wait," said Garet amidst his confused comrades. "I think he just wants to live in peace."

"Any ideas?" asked Sheba.

"I'll see if the author wants a new muse," said Ivan. "Come on, Ghetto Felix."

"Holla!" replied Ghetto Felix as Ivan led him away.

"So…" said Isaac. "Pizza sound good?"

"Yeah," said Jenna. "But they don't deliver out here. Who goes to get it?"

"I'll flip someone," said Piers. "Heads, Felix. Tails, Garet."

"But who do we flip?" asked Sheba.

_-Meanwhile, in Alhafra-_

"It feels good to be up on my feet again," said the Mayor. "That's the last time I ever hit on foreign women."

"Don't worry, sir," said his aide. "I'm positive nothing bad will happen today." As he said it, something fell from the sky and slammed into the mayor. It was a young boy.

The boy, feeling slightly dizzy, lifted his head and surveyed his surroundings. He then noticed he was laying face down. After cursing silently to himself, Garet stood up. He then cupped his hands to his mouth and took a deep breath.

"IT WAS TAILS!"

-

Well, that's that.

Flt. Sk.: So what does puny author plan to do with the new mortal?

Don't know. Tell me, Ghetto Felix, do you have any references?

Ghetto Felix: No prob, my homies can sosizzle foshizzle.

WHAT?

B.B.: He said his friends would back him up.

Ivan: You actually understand this guy?

B.B.: Sure, it's easy.

Well, I guess we can give him a try. But I apologize to any reader who takes offense to the idea of a ghetto muse. I just thought it was funny.

_Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!_

Foshizzle yo!


End file.
